Over the years Pete and I had talked and dreamed. We desired to put these dreams into action, take steps, make changes.
Yet year after year we instead settled into the routine of daily life. We’d take small steps here and there, yet nothing too impactful. Looking back, we now see that we were living with the mission: “Play it safe”. Boaz changed that. He taught us to live. Through his death, the Lord brought us life.
After the shock, we revisited our dreams.
Since the day of purchase, we had wanted to paint the outside of our house. Yet we waited, and saved. When we had enough to paint it, we still saved. For what? We didn’t even know. Boaz was stillborn in July. That autumn, we had the house painted. We loved it! Why did we wait so long? This may seem insignificant. Yet, for us, it was big. To invest money into house painting seemed frivolous. Yet I see now that it was part of making our home. This small step became the first of many. Eventually they grew larger as we took more impactful ones toward bigger dreams. Sanctuary of Home is the fruit of these steps. Sometimes the Lord launches you on mission unexpectedly. He may allow a situation in your life that causes a major disruption, pain, sorrow, and opportunity to trust in Him and overcome. How many ministries have arisen from these circumstances, from the ashes? The Lord makes beauty from the ashes (Isaiah 61:3), and uses your pain to support and minister to others (2 Cor 1:3-4). Through Boaz, the Lord transformed our unknown mission of, “play it safe”, into: “take wise risks of faith”. What mission are you living by? Is it the Lord’s mission for you? Has He disrupted your world to create a new one? He loves you. He has a great plan for you. Step into it. Here, birthed from our unexpected mission, is a poem I wrote on Boaz’s due date….. You Are Already Home You're not coming home to me. I will never hear your cry or wipe away your tears. I won't find a toy of yours left in some conspicuous place. You're not coming home to me. I won't hold you, cradle you, nurse you. I won't change your diaper or clean your pee off the wall. The books Sophia is done with won't go to you. You're not coming home to me. I won't know your eye color, nor that of your hair. Would you have been left-handed like your Daddy? This I will not know either. You're not coming home to me. I won't train you, tell you yes or no, discipline you when you've gone your own way, or teach you to honor, respect, and obey. You're not coming home to me. Yet this home you're not coming to, while abundantly blessed, is simply temporary. If you had come home, you would be here eighteen years at best. And those years - they are fast. Then you'd be leaving this home. If you left this home, your own adventures you'd pursue. I'd pray daily you'd be following our Lord; for I know He'd be with you. Yet it's here that I see the truth – You Are Already Home. You are with Jesus. His face the first you saw when you opened your perfect eyes, in the body that will not decay. You Are Already Home. Where there is no sorrow or mourning or tears or pain ...or sin! These wretched things from which you were spared. You Are Already Home. Where there is praise, worship, singing, joy! Joy - where there is Christ! In His presence is fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore. Yes, You Are Already Home. The forever home. The “I'll never leave” and “it will never be taken away” home. No, you're not coming home to me; yet, my boy, I Will Be Coming Home To You. Written in honor of Boaz Lucas Zepelak Stillborn at 20 weeks on July 2, 2017 Still Born* Click Here to read Boaz's obituary. *Published in The Storyville Project ©2023 by Lakes Area Writers Alliance available on Amazon Beauty for Ashes by Chris McClarney © Sanctuary of Home™ All Rights Reserved
All Scripture references, unless otherwise indicated, are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide
6 Comments
Mama
10/8/2024 09:39:01 am
Tears fall, as I read your touching message and beautiful poem, for you and me and anyone else who has experienced the roller coaster of emotions from conception to loss of our precious gifts of love the Lord graced us with. Thank you for the reminder that we will be reunited again. And I am so very thankful to God for You, one of my other precious gifts He graced your D and me with. All of our precious gifts help soften the sorrow bringing so much joy to our lives.
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Aunty Donna
10/8/2024 11:30:53 am
Dear Mellany,
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Mellany Zepelak
10/11/2024 09:43:04 pm
Thank you, Aunty. Grieving with others is a wonderful gift. Thank you for all you give. Love you!
Mellany Zepelak
10/11/2024 09:41:42 pm
Thank you, Mama. Love you!
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Kim
10/11/2024 03:40:37 pm
BEAUTIFUL post and tribute to Boaz, Mellany! ❤️
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Mellany Zepelak
10/11/2024 09:44:03 pm
So grateful you were encouraged, Kim! Thank you for these sweet words.
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