Learning to bless my family was hard. So my homeschool consultant encouraged me with this momma-bear wisdom. Further encouragement followed:
With her continued support, I shifted my focus to action. A key success-builder in blessing others is daily time with the Lord. Often referred to as “quiet time” or TAWG (Time Alone With God), this daily time is where you receive the blessing from the Lord. How can you give what you haven’t received? 
When you are filled up with the Lord’s blessing for you, you can overflow to give it to others. Next, build your year around intentional self-care. Consistent self-care, especially if you home educate, is essential to blessing others. Try getting out of the house for a couple of hours, one time a week. See how this affects your ability to give and bless. Personally, if I neglect this time, I end up not being a nice momma. 
Finally, developing a new language doesn’t just happen. You must be intentional. And you must practice. Holding me accountable, my consultant asked me to keep track. “How many affirmations can you do in a day?” she challenged. I began to tally the positive, verbal blessings I spoke over my family. I hated this. I didn’t want to keep score. Yet it was necessary to develop a new habit. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” (Prov 18:21) 
Let the blessing flow. Bless yourself with the truth of God’s word. Bless your husband. Find your children doing something right and bless them, brag about them, and affirm them. Let them see it in your face, looking at them with delight. And in your words, as you speak: “I’m so proud of you! What would my life be like without you?” “I’m your greatest cheerleader, your biggest fan! You are wonderful!” 
“I’m honored to be your mom. I don’t want you to think I’m too busy for you. I’m madly in love with you.” “You were so kind and thoughtful today. That’s what makes you beautiful.” Let your praise be lavish and sincere. You cannot say these things enough. All day bless. What you focus on grows. “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.” (Gal 6:7) 
You reap what you sow. If you sow negativity and critique, you will reap the same. Who blossoms under criticism? Who feels connected when they feel like they’re failing? If you sow blessing, you will reap blessing. Look for things in your husband and children that are beautiful. What have they done well today? What do you appreciate about them? What can you thank them for? Tell them. Sow blessing. 
I guarantee you will reap an atmosphere in your home where people want to be. You will be a family people want to be around. You will have peace in your home. You will be content. May you be abundantly blessed, by blessing others today. What is one step you will take today to bless another? Please click here to share. Let’s learn from each other. © Sanctuary of Home™ All Rights Reserved
All Scripture references, unless otherwise indicated, are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
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Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Eph 4:29, emphasis mine)
This was not the talk coming out of my mouth. All too often I saw what wasn’t done correctly, or what needed improvement. And I all too readily pointed it out. I needed to see differently. I needed to make a change. Over the next two years, with consistent accountability, and stretching myself into the uncomfortable and unfamiliar, flowers began to grow. How about for you? What is the atmosphere in your home? 
Is it blessing? Or critique?
What is your honest assessment? No matter your answers to those questions, there is hope for an atmosphere of blessing in your home! Why bless? When you verbally bless others (and yourself!), you are speaking the truth of God over them, and they will feel secure in your love. And added bonus: You will be happier!
He is rooting for you, your biggest cheerleader, your best coach.
He calls you up higher to become all He made you to be. How does He speak to you? He models blessing – for He speaks blessing over you! “The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love. He will rejoice over you with singing.” (Zeph 3:17) 
Ask the Lord, “What do you think of me? Teach me to hear your voice.”
Bless yourself with the truth of God’s word. God loves you so much, He can’t take His eyes off you. Then share this blessing with your family. Say to them what God says to you. Call forth beauty in their lives. God sees it in them. Call them upward for His glory. There will be kindness, grace, and joy in your home. 
There will also be an underlying message: “There must be a God. And He must be good.”
A key to raising emotionally healthy children – keep blessing them. They will be more secure. They will know they are loved, treasured, honored, and adored children. It will give them quietness, confidence, and peace. When your children know and believe how much they are loved by you, they will internalize that there is nothing they can do to improve it. 
They can rest in your love, and in so doing, will eventually learn to rest in Father God’s Love. You can transform the atmosphere in your home by verbally blessing those in it. This is hard. Especially if you haven’t experienced it. I can hear you asking, “What about…?” And, “But how?” I’ll dedicate the next blog to answering those questions. In the meantime, do this: 
Then, tell them the character quality they are displaying through it.
For example, “Savanna, you started rinsing those dishes without being asked. What great initiative and service to the family! Thank you!” Until next time, try it. Sow beauty. Watch flowers spread in your home. 
Let me close by blessing you:
You are loved. You are doing a good job. May you feel the Lord singing over you, making you expansive. May you immerse yourself in His love for you. Then, may you look with Jesus’ eyes of love for those in your home. May you see them as Jesus sees them – and say it. Amen. 
How has someone blessing you impacted your life? Please share below in the comments. Let’s encourage each other. © Sanctuary of Home™ All Rights Reserved
All Scripture references, unless otherwise indicated, are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Nevertheless, the culture we live in bumps up against it and lashes out.
It resists the Lord’s authority, challenges His right to “tell me what to do,” and balks at surrender. It succumbs to the same temptation that has existed since the beginning. 
The enemy speaks, “Did God really say….?” (Gen 3:1b)
Then continues the deception with, “…and you will be like God...” (Gen 3:5) And our culture believes it, acts on it, and fights for its own way. This “trying to be God” – though in its deception is largely subconscious – is sin. And its reward is death. “For the wages of sin is death…” (Rom 6:23a) This was once you too: 
“And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” (1 Cor 6:11)
As a disciple of Jesus Christ, at the moment of salvation, you were set free from sin’s penalty of death, and its power over you. And when Jesus takes you Home, you will be set free from sin’s presence forevermore! Praise the Lord! What good news! Yet this deception to be like God, and to “have it your way” is strong.
And once again, just like in the original garden, it claims, “I know better than God Himself.”
As a follower of Jesus Christ, you must be prepared to respond to these lies with the truth of the gospel. “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect…” (1 Peter 3:15) Our culture is made up of people. It's these people whose view is narrow. Because they don't know the Way. (John 14:6) They have a narrow understanding of who God is. They need the I Am. (Gen 3:14, John 8:58) 
They have a narrow comprehension of His love and character. They need the Word. (John 1:1)
Yet mostly, they have a narrow, deceptive, filtered view of themselves. They need the Light of the World. (John 8:12) They hardly grasp their sin, much less the weight and destruction of it. They need the Truth. (John 14:6) They don’t conceive their plight, or their desperation for a Savior. They need the Good Shepherd. (John 10:11,14) They don’t know how deeply loved by that Savior they are! They need Love Himself. (1 John 4:8,16) And who is to tell them the truth? “How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?” (Rom 10:14) “Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.” (Rom 10:17) Amidst their ignorance, Jesus enters as the Lamb of God, laying down His life for them. You must tell them. 
This is your high and holy calling. This is your privilege to partner with the Lord for His Kingdom.
Jesus says, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10b) The full life they long for can only be found in and through Jesus. Peter confirms this, when he says of Jesus, “Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.” (Acts 4:12) You have the answer to the plight of this world. It is the gospel of Jesus Christ. 
Gird yourself with truth so that you can respond to the resistance.
Jesus is the way. Yes, the only way. He declared this Himself. It’s confirmed by those closest to Him. (John 14:6; Acts 4:12) Yet this only way is available to all. All. And all means everyone. Every – single – person who ceases to resist, challenge, and balk. Yet to the one who instead acknowledges, repents, and receives. 
Acknowledges that the Lord alone is God, and He alone has all authority. Repents of their sin to be God, their pride of thinking they know better than Him. Receives the free gift of salvation that is only offered through faith in Jesus. “…if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.” (Rom 10:9-10) This is salvation. This is life.
Need more truth? Look up John 10:9; John 11:25; Romans 10:13; and Titus 2:11.
The offer of salvation through faith in Jesus Christ is available to all. This is the truth. Don’t let the culture tell you otherwise. Share it. Be bold. 
Do not be ashamed.
Go out and preach the gospel of Jesus Christ – and change the world. Amen. 
How has the gospel of Jesus Christ changed your world?
Please comment below to encourage others. © Sanctuary of Home™ All Rights Reserved
*All Scripture emphasis added by Mellany Zepelak
**All Scripture references from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
We all need to know this message, don’t we? Knowing you are safe ensures you feel secure. Security is the basis of trust. Trust is the bedrock for openness and authenticity. When a relationship is grounded in safety, security, and trust, you can be confident no matter what is revealed. Even if the listener doesn’t like it, you are still secure and loved in the relationship. 
As she dove into this idea of safety two concepts stopped me:
Stopping behavior and shaping a child’s heart are different things. Getting big, large, and loud sends children into a fight or flight response. Phew. I need to grow. I had to (and still have to) evaluate my own behavior: Do I want my child’s behavior to change for my own comfort, ease, and ego? Or, do I want to shape my child’s heart to know and follow the Lord with his/her decisions? Will I take the time to explain the why behind the desired behavior?
Too much of my parenting has been about me.
Yet there is grace! There is hope! And there is training. Here are some of my notes on helping my children know “You are safe with me.” 
When I feel angry about a child’s behavior/response/attitude:
I have a long way to grow. This can be overwhelming. Yet it doesn’t have to be. 
My step has been to incorporate prayer about this into my times with the Lord.
This has looked like: Lord, please make me a safe person for my children. Lord, please help me go slow, get low, and listen. Lord, please help me care more about my child’s character than my own comfort. Lord, your word says, “let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19-20 ESV) Please form this in me. The Lord is doing a work in me. I can see a change. He is growing me. He will do the same for you. 
I don’t think there is any “arrival” this side of heaven. Yet the foundation is more secure.
As I wrote about in “You Can’t Change Him!,” you can only change yourself. Yet your child will likely respond to the change in you. (Though I cannot guarantee this!) Are you ensuring those in your family know, “You are safe with me”? You will change your world as you grow in becoming a safe person, and communicating this message. Go slow. Get low. Listen. May your relationships with your children, and others, blossom as a result. 
How has someone helped you know
“You are safe with me” in your relationship with them? Please comment below to share your observations. Let’s grow together. © Sanctuary of Home™ All Rights Reserved
All Scripture references, unless otherwise indicated, are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
One sunny morning, Love came to the kitchen with my daughter.
He sat in a dining room chair, participating in the day’s conversation. Eventually Savanna asked, “Love, what do you want?” Love responded, “I want whatever you want to give me, because you love me.” The conversation continued, yet I don’t remember a word after that point. Struck by Love’s response, I contemplated his words: 
The trust in this make-believe relationship stopped me.
I thought, can I say that to God? Do I trust Him that much to say, “I want whatever you want to give me, because you love me”? And if I say that, do I really mean “whatever”? Because that word means anything; no matter what; known and unknown. It meant, “yet not my will, but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42b)
This kind of surrender. I want to know Him. I want to know His love. I want this kind of trust. I want this kind of surrender. Because I know His love. “And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Eph 3:17-19) “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” (Rom 8:32) “So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” (1 John 4:16 ESV) 
I’m not there yet.
Are you? Yet isn’t it a worthy pursuit? To know the love of the Father for you. This love is lavish, unconditional, casts out all fear, and nothing can separate you from it! (Jer 31:3, 1 John 4:18, Rom 8:37-39) To know this love for you, is to know Him. Wow. I’m still struck and stopped by this, just like I was that sunny morning. Are you? Can you say with Love, “I want whatever you want to give me, because you love me”? I chuckle that the stuffed dog is named Love. 
You are loved.
Deeply loved. Unconditionally loved. Lavishly loved. Sacrificially loved. Pursue the Father, through Jesus Christ. Know Him. Know love. Receive it. This will change your world. Then you will be able to say to the Lord, “I want whatever you want to give me, because you love me.” Amen. 
How have you experienced God’s love for you? Please comment below to share your response.
Let’s learn from each other.
“Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. ESV Text Edition: 2025. The ESV text may not be quoted in any publication made available to the public by a Creative Commons license. The ESV may not be translated in whole or in part into any other language. Used by permission. All rights reserved.”
© Sanctuary of Home™ All Rights Reserved
All Scripture references, unless otherwise indicated, are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Feelings of guilt and shame accompanied this.
(Both straight from the pit.) As the Lord began to heal me, He helped me realize that I needed to shift my focus. I began a nightly routine of journaling three things:
I’m not sure how I came up with these. Yet the intention was clear: shift focus to the good. 
Ten things I’m grateful for was intended to help me see my abundant blessings. Answering “What did I do well today?” was intended to help me focus on the good I accomplished that day. On a day when I could have focused on not getting all our school work done, I instead focused on how I prioritized my children’s relationship with each other. And how I taught them conflict resolution and grace in the process. Finally, answering “What did I learn today?” was intended to help me take something that I considered negative, and turn it into an opportunity. While I previously may have thought something like: ‘There were so many interruptions today that I couldn’t get to everything.’
I decided to drop this last question altogether and focus on gratitude and “What did I do well today?” After practicing these, I learned a few things: Gratitude breathes life and joy into you. It’s a gift from the Lord, accompanied by contentment. When practiced, it’s a win all around. When I answered, “What did I do well today?”, my focus indeed shifted to what was well and good. And not only in myself, but also in my children as well! What a blessing for them when their momma focused on what they did well, as opposed to what needed improvement. Lastly, I learned that I need to grow more in focusing on the good. 
I need to train my thoughts, and practice blessing others (calling out the good I see in them). Scripture speaks to this training… “…train yourself to be godly.” (1 Tim 4:7b) “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” (Phil 4:8, emphasis mine) “…we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Cor 10:5b) “…be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Rom 12:2a) Somewhere along the way I fell out of this nightly routine. At this writing, I commit to renewing it again. (I’ll check in with you next month and let you know how it’s going!) 
Mood is better.
Attitude is better. Grace is better. Receiving and giving love is better. And your thoughts are aligned with what the Lord wants you to think about. (see Phil 4:8 above) So, what have you done well today? Shift your focus, and change your world, by answering this powerful question. Then enjoy all the blessings that result from it. 
What have you done well today? Please share your thoughts below. Let’s encourage each other.
August 17, 2026
Track Your Daily Wins update:
As promised last month, I have been tracking my daily wins again. Unfortunately, I have yet to write them down! Before bed each night, I’ve recited to myself ten things I’m grateful for, and have answered the question, “What did you do well today?” 
It has been uplifting, encouraging, building.
I’m happy to re-establish the habit. I’d like to take the next step and write them down each night. I keep forgetting my journal on a different level of the house! At that time of night, I don’t want to go get it. I continue to grow and learn. © Sanctuary of Home™ All Rights Reserved
All Scripture references, unless otherwise indicated, are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
We didn’t talk about faith, and my question was a result of Holy Spirit’s prompting and being fully present in that moment. I would like to live in the moment more. Do you ever struggle to be fully present? You’re physically there. The one you love and value is before you. 
Yet mentally, emotionally, spiritually, you’re somewhere else. This has been especially difficult for me recently. A relational struggle, and how to resolve it, has consumed most of my mental, emotional, and spiritual waking and sleeping hours. The result? Complete disconnect from where I am right now, and the person before me. I’ve been missing them.
I want to capture this time – be fully there in it.
Yet how? When I accepted the role in the wedding above, I prayed the Lord would give me a servant’s heart. Because of this intention, I thought about her, and anticipated her needs. I saw her, noticed her, paid attention to her. Then acted on what I observed. As I thought about this topic, the Lord brought this brief weekend to mind. 
One I continually go back to with a desire to be like that again. It gave me great joy to serve her in that way. Then it dawned on me. The reason it was special and significant is because I was present most of the time. How was I present? The amazing gift of self-forgetfulness! And this only from the Lord. 
So today, remember: This day, This moment, This person, Is a Gift. Freely given. Never guaranteed. 
Don’t wish it away. You don’t get it back. There is a lasting joy in presence. Be present today. How do you help yourself be present in the moment? © Sanctuary of Home™ All Rights Reserved
All Scripture references, unless otherwise indicated, are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
I believe the root of perfectionism lies in a desire to be seen as good and acceptable. It connects the value of ‘who I am’ to ‘what I do’. Therefore, if the perceived outcome is near perfect, or good, then you are good. This is a lie. Held captive by this lie much of my life, I wasted time and energy on insignificant things. Let me present cleaning the bathroom, as an example.
At the time I took pride in this. While I didn’t consciously think through it, within my heart I believed something like this: “The bathroom is good! The ‘cleanest ever seen’! I’m good! Yes! I’m finally good!” Now I look at that comment with sorrow. I see the phrase ‘I was afraid to touch anything’. That’s not welcoming, inviting, or connecting. It separates. 
And I am no better than another. Years later my Mama and Grandma stopped by to pick me up to go to a show together. Grandma needed to use the bathroom before we departed. When she finished, I apologized that the bathroom wasn’t clean. She replied, “Honey, if you don’t say anything, no one will notice!” That line has stayed with me.
Rooted now in truth, I not only intellectually understand, yet know in my heart, that only Jesus is the perfect One. Perfection is not attainable in this life. Yet that doesn’t make who you are unacceptable or bad. God made you very good. (Gen 1:31a, 1 Tim 4:4) You are wonderfully made! (Psalm 139:14) 
Who you are is good.
“God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” (2 Cor 5:21) Receive the unconditional love and acceptance God has for you through Jesus Christ. You are loved and are of great value, no matter what you do. You won’t change the world by attaining perfection. 
Yet you may change it by being set free from perfection by the One who is perfect.
While I still believe in a clean bathroom for guests, I don’t labor over it like I used to. Guests are coming to see me – not my clean bathroom. Hi! My name is Mellany Zepelak and I’m a recovering perfectionist. Jesus is perfect, so I don’t have to be. And neither do you. What can you let go of doing perfectly today? © Sanctuary of Home™ All Rights Reserved
All Scripture references, unless otherwise indicated, are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
The foundation was laid, yet the work had stopped. “Consider your ways,” the Lord declared. He asked them to consider all they’d sown, and how it had come to little. Much work, limited profit. Why? “Because of my house that lies in ruins, while each of you busies himself with his own house.” (Hag 1:9b) This was the verse that convicted me.
One: proper sympathy and care for a friend whose mother recently died.
I’d written reminders on many lists, yet hadn’t prioritized my friend’s pain. I took action. Yet it was late. Far too late. Does this friend know I do care about her and her pain? Or does she feel overlooked as I was busying myself with my house? Another ‘to get to later’ item had sat for a year. Yes, a year. I took action. The situation I told this missionary about affected her greatly. It helped her understand why much of her giving had dropped off a year before, and how to correct it.
He promised to bless them. What are you building? Consider your ways. Are you prioritizing the Lord’s priorities? Or are you busying yourself with your own house while His lies in ruins? 
Do you want to change the world? Prioritize the Lord’s house. Consider your ways. What are His priorities in your life? If you’ve failed to obey, repent. Then go, and build. Build the Lord’s house. And watch your house be blessed with all it needs. © Sanctuary of Home™ All Rights Reserved
All Scripture references, unless otherwise indicated, are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
“Thank you. Wow… Well, those in my generation, we just don’t… wow… we just don’t see this anymore.”
It must be a thankless job to prepare samples at Costco. Standing on a cement floor for hours, they prepare tray after countless tray. Passersby take the little filled cups, largely without any acknowledgement whatsoever to the person behind the stand. On this particular day, the samples lady was overcome. She let us know how few people even say “thank you”.
How would your home change if everyone within it gave basic courtesy to one another?
“Thank you for the meal.” “May I please go outside?” “Thank you for teaching that to me.” “May I help you with that?” Then take it into your community: To the server of samples at Costco. 
To the grocery store clerk. To the bank teller. To the pastor. To the one who holds the door open for you. Look them in the eyes. See them. They matter.
© Sanctuary of Home™ All Rights Reserved
All Scripture references, unless otherwise indicated, are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
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