Healthy Conflict

“I’m sorry,” I said.

It had happened again.

He sighed.

“I forgive you,” he followed. “It just seems that there is no effort to change.”

Ouch. He nailed it.

I stood there, thinking, praying, submitting.

“You’re right,” I sighed. “I haven’t made an effort. I commit to you now to make a genuine effort, and that I will pray daily for the Lord to help me change. That’s all I can do.”​

Conflict.

It is present in every healthy relationship.

Let me repeat that. Conflict is present in every healthy relationship.

If there isn’t some conflict, then someone’s not being honest. That’s when bitterness and resentment build.
​
While conflict is normal and healthy, it is working through and reconciling those conflicts that will keep the relationship healthy.

Are you familiar with any of these strategies:

• a person always getting their way
• pouting
• blowing up
• yelling
• name calling
• pretending to agree in order to keep the ‘peace’
• remaining silent
• bullying
• threatening
• providing ultimatums
• bringing up past failures
• tearing down
• swearing….

These tactics do not build trust and connection. Rather, they breed distrust, separation, and disunity.

Yuck! Just writing that feels icky. I want to run.

Yet there is Good News!

God is in the business of reconciling and redeeming relationships!

It’s what He’s done since the beginning. He redeemed you to Himself, giving you the ability to have reconciled peace with others.

As mentioned in The Key to Every Relationship, Jesus is the key.

So how do you do this? What does healthy conflict look like?

The answer to that question is in How to Resolve Conflict.

For today, understand that without honest reconciliation, the relationship you seek will remain an empty shell.

Commit now, with the Lord’s help, to be honest, humble, to seek to understand the other’s perspective, and to reconcile.

It will bring depth, strength, trust, connection, and greater love.

That’s something you long for in every relationship, isn’t it?

By the way, the conflict I wrote about above was about me interrupting my husband.

It was a terrible habit. Yet with intentional commitment, and daily prayer, the Lord did help me change.

And our relationship is better for it.

How has resolving conflict strengthened your relationships?
​Please share in the comments below.

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